On Bullying

I am only going to talk about what I call mental bullying because if you are over 21 years of age and you are still being physically bullied or you are physically bullying others..then I have this to say to you.."Go buy yourself some self-esteem."
Seriously, I don't expect to come across a 21 year old that still promises " go mura batho" or to break people noses. If such people still exist, then I strongly advise psychotherapy cause this blog can't help you. This blog is for well-balanced mature minds and not juvenile delinquents who have no intention of outgrowing the adolescence stage.
Ok..back to the main topic..My latest encounter with a bullying character has been been very recent, luckily very brief and slightly traumatic cause I believe that others have been through worse. My experience was sort of like Bullying 101, An introduction to the nature and activities that constitutes bullying.
1. How to spot a bully,
2. How to determine the nature of the bullying
3. how to tackle your tomentor and
4. how to end the bullying.
My situation came as a shock cause it was totally unexpected..At first I could not see that I was being bullied, I simply thought of the guy as rude.
You know when you have just met a boy that you really like and he introduces you to his friends, and they all seem to like you except for one guy. You have done nothing to upset him, yet he doesn't like you. This guy is usually the most intelligent in the group but not always the smartest. and NO! this particular boy did not have a crush on me. I have nothing in common with him. I am not his type and he is not mine
His bullying of me was of a mental nature where he would play subtle mind games that left me looking and feeling foolish and inadequate. . And he was so skilled at it as none of the friends caught onto his bullying including my date. I guess his objective was to push me to a point of emotional outburst but I refused to break. There was this one time when he made a racial comment that pushed me so close to the edge, I almost tipped over. I felt a Kelis "caught out there" eruption coming on..and I nearly yelled "I hate you so much right now" but then I opted to rather not let my freak side show. I immediately thought to myself " Jerks like him doesn't deserve a moral reprimand cause they are beyond enlightenment. So I just looked at him calmly and said.."Well If you feel that way..I guess you are entitled to your belief." That's how I won the war against my tomenter and stopped the bullying.
1. By boldly accepting dates even if it meant seeing my tomentor once again
2. By continually asserting myself in a polite manner
3. Never avoided seating beside him if the opportunity arose
4. Never tried to force a friendship with him nor pretended to like him
5. Always acted independently happy despite his rude remarks
6. Always exuded confidence by acting cheerful whenever I was in his presence
7. Never purposely locked him out of the conversation
8. Never complained to my date or his friends about him
9. Never broke down emotionally in front of the group
10. Understood that the buck stopped with me. I had to handle him myself..
The morale of the story is I lost several wars with him, but I won the battle. I stood eyeball to eyeball with my bully and he blinked. The next time you get confronted by a bully either from the current or past life, I want you to walk up to him, look him in the eye and "agree with whatever he is saying." If he says that he will break your nose, look him straight in the eye and tell him that you know very well that he will break your nose that is why you are stepping away from him and let him win the fight. Tell him in the most unthreatening tone possible that you acknowledge his arnold swazzerneger muscles hence the surrendering on your part. No opponent..No fight. You win by letting him showacase his stupidity in public. Spectators are smart enough to tell a hero from a zero.

On Being dealt a low-blow

Get over it cause you are not the first, and neither are you the second nor the last. People from all walks of life have been dealt the low blows since the beginning of time. How you will get you through this, is in knowing that you are bigger than the problem and not the other way around. If the problem was bigger than you, then God wouldn't have assigned it to you because he only assigns problems according to capacity.
Once you are faced with a challenge, no matter how big, you have to sit still and acknowledge the following
1. Running away means a recurring problem
2. You already have the capacity and the wisdom to solve this problem
3. Do not procrastinate.Do not be afraid because any form of hesitation eats aways at your strength
4. Don't depend highly on others to offer their solution to the problem
5. Take ownership until the problem is solved.
6. Be alert. Pay attention..Look to the universe for clues on how to solve the problem
7. Be resourceful. Question everything. Leave no stone unturned
8. Develop strategy based on all evidence gathered.
9. Cautiously execute strategy whilst paying more attention to universal feedback. This means don't execute blindly..Keep watching out for re-direction clues eg. dreams, intuition, music, reading and other unsolicited channels
10. Seek universal confirmation that the debt is settled
It is not always easy to know when a debt is settled because you might get distracted by a new event in your life and simply forget e.g. A job promotion can make you forget about your financial challenges for a while. You might think that your problems will miraculously dissappear because of increased earnings but this has proved wrong in the majority of cases including mine. It is a mental illusion to think that money problems are solved by money because what guarantee is there that the extra funds will be pumped into reducing the size of the debt? More money for some people, could mean the creation of more debts like acquiring a bigger car or a bigger house. Money problems are more spiritual and mental than physical. If you feel whole as a person and are mentally disciplined beyond peer pressure then you wouldn't need to spend money unnecessarily to the point of ITC listing. The remedy for all debt is a disciplined mind. No success in this world can ever be achieved without discipline of the five faculties plus one. The faculties are mental, physical, financial, social, emotional and spiritual.